


ｏｒａｎｄａ // merthur

by papercut_fingers



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Bromance, M/M, Merthur - Freeform, Powerful Merlin (Merlin), arthur will not die or so help me, god knows she needs it, i can't tag, i love morgana (when she's not being an insane witch prat), intentional lowercase, magic in camelot hell yeah, merlin's ending broke me so im ignoring it and writing this, more to come - Freeform, no beta we die like men, once and future prat, potential morgana x gwen content folks, so i might have to have her live and get some therapy, this sucks im sorry lmao, very gay don't worry, written to appease any devastated merthur souls still kicking in 2021, yes it is 2am your honour
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 04:55:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30016467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/papercut_fingers/pseuds/papercut_fingers
Summary: oranda(n.)an internal summoning of personal strength to change fate; the courage to love someone against the obstacles life has set before you.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	1. maybe destiny can be persuaded just a little bit

silence. silence except from the steady thrum beating in his ears, blood pounding around his head and a single streak trickling out of his nose. he swiped at it absently, spitting the bitter taste of blood out of his mouth. merlin couldn't remember the last time he'd just _let go_ like that. all his fury, all the agony pent up inside him- he'd snapped. and he'd directed it all at one of the major sources of his problems.

morgana's body lay still a few feet away from him, dark unruly hair sprawled out beneath her. she'd snuck up, unexpected, ready to strike like a waiting snake from behind. and she'd almost succeeded too, had it not been for the look of realisation and then panic in arthur's eyes, merlin would not have whirled around to dodge the unforseen threat. he was wasting time, precious time, he knew that. morgana knew that, perhaps she even knew that her attempts at defeating him were futile, maybe a delay was all she wanted.

it was a strange sense of disbelief that washed over him now, both at his sudden burst of power and at morgana in general. that girl had been like a sister to him and arthur both, he couldn't fathom how she'd ended up so twisted. _my fault_ he thought bitterly. he often thought over it, late in the night where only his intrusive thoughts accompanied him. could he have saved her? prevented all this? _you cannot change destiny, merlin._ the dragon's tantalising words of wisdom echoed in his head, he scowled. 

he wasn't sure how long he'd been standing there, _too long_ , he berated himself. he let out a frustrated huff, listening to the pounding in his head recede. the damage was done. broken trees and bramble lay across the cracked forest floor, a jagged hemisphere protruding out from where the young warlock stood, hands trembling.

a croaky, tentative voice broke him out of his tremor.

“m-merlin-”

he subsided into a coughing fit before he could finish his sentence, and merlin dragged his sullen gaze away from morgana to look worriedly at arthur. arthur pushed up against a tree- arthur so weak he couldn't lift a finger- arthur _dying._

now he remembered why he'd done it without a sliver of hesitation. 

“arthur- hey, hey hold on.” he rushed out, destruction forgotten as he stumbled over the debris to get to his king. his friend.

he faltered as arthur met his gaze, and his heart sank at the fear he saw there. of course, what did he expect? that his king would just take his word? "oh, yeah, i just absolutely destroyed part of the forest and possibly killed someone you used to consider a sister- but i'm not evil!"

“arthur..” he choked out, the strength in his voice dissipating at the pained look in the other's eyes. arthur moved swiftly to hide it, giving a weak smile, but merlin had seen it.

“you're afraid of me.” he stated miserably, gaze cold as he looked to the ground.

“no! no.. merlin, i know... you, you did what you had to do.” arthur replied firmly, or, as firmly as one could when quite literally on death's door. despite his claims, merlin could still hear the sheer awe and fear he held towards his magic. how could he not? especially after that little show.

merlin ignored his words, sparing morgana one last pained glance before moving to heave arthur up. he didn't bother checking her pulse. he started to drag his feet forwards, desperately willing himself to find remains of strength that just wasn't there. just a little further, just a bit more. _please, just a little_ he pleaded with himself, pulling on the cooling heat of his magic burning through his veins. _i have to save him._

but he'd truly burnt himself out, magically and physically. even as he stumbled over his own feet, practically dragging arthur as he lay against him, he knew that it was hopeless. it couldn't all have been for nothing, could it?

“merlin... _mer_ lin, stop. you- you can't.” arthur's voice trembled, and suddenly his body became like lead in his arms. 

“arthur.” merlin said sharply, gaze snapping down to glare half-heartedly at him. he could barely see straight through the blur of tears in his eyes. “we're nearly there- we can make it! get up. come on, please, try!” he heard his own desperate cries as if through a screen, a thick sheet of glass separating his drifting consciousness and the real world. 

“no, no merlin.” arthur said quietly, stumbling to the ground and pulling merlin with him. he didn't say the words aloud, but they both knew what he meant. _it's too late._

merlin couldn't bring himself to argue, arthur's bodyweight on top of his own bringing him to his knees. he choked out a sob, throat tight as he ground his teeth together and tried to stand up. “the lake, arthur it's close. i can get you to it!” 

“you can't, merlin, _merlin._ listen to me.” 

a sudden silence passed over them at arthur's request, a ghostly breeze trailing through their hair and drying the tears on merlin's lashes. 

“thank you,” arthur said dryly, and merlin couldn't help the small smile the teasing tone brought to his face. “you can't carry me all the way there, you know you can't. look at you- you're as exhausted as i am. please, just- hold me.” 

merlin could tell the effort it took the young king to speak, and he wanted to tell him to stop. to stop wasting those precious breaths. because he was going to make it goddammit. “no,” he shook his head furiously, swallowing past the dryness in his throat, “no, no i will not give up.” 

he clung to arthur just as much as arthur clung to him, half lay down in the dampened grass that soaked through the material over his knees. arthur didn't speak again, and for a panicked moment merlin thought the worst. as he snapped his desperate gaze back to the man beside him, he was met with those crystal blue eyes, still shining despite the life fading behind them.

it hit him quite suddenly, a last hope, a last resort, the final stretch he needed. he sat up a little too quickly, ignoring the way the world span around him as he swallowed hard. he felt arthur's curious gaze on him, though for once there was no annoyed demand to voice his question. it sent a surge of pain through merlin, a reminder of how weak arthur lay beside him. he took a deep breath, and gathered everything he had left in him. 

the deep call that left his lips sounded nothing like him even to himself, and he caught arthur's shocked gaze through the corner of his eye. his head pounded with the effort, throat hoarse and burning as he cried out with as much fervour as he could. it took an excruciating amount of willpower not to pass out as the last word was choked out, trembling all over as he sank into arthur's side. 

arthur didn't get the chance to question the outburst, to voice his confusion at the strange tongue that sounded so much like merlin but also not at all. the air stirred around them, tremendous wings beating through the trees and cracking trunks like twigs. a great dragon lowered itself onto the forest floor, kneeling in front of the two and speaking with a low rumble, 

“young warlock, what is it that pains you so? i have not heard a cry like that since my kind were destroyed.” 

merlin could've cried for joy, a shimmering beacon of hope lit up inside him. and somehow arthur found himself on his feet, supported by merlin who was looking at the dragon like he wanted to hug him. 

“kilgharrah-! please, you have to help him! we need to get to avalon, one last favour, please will you do this for me!” he called up to it, shaking with the effort put behind his words.

arthur blinked up dazedly at the beast, eyes running over the rippling scales and drawing up to stare into the reptilian eyes as if in a stupor. “a dragon. and he speaks.” he mumbled stupidly, unable to tear his eyes away. he knew he should feel afraid, but there was something familiar about this old source of magic. something so inexplicably _merlin._ every fibre of his being screamed _trust._

the dragon cocked it's head, watching merlin almost sadly. “of course, young warlock. it would be an honour to serve you as my last exertion.”

“arthur, hey, i need you to try really hard for me, okay? we need to get you up there.”

merlin's voice broke through his haze and he gave a small nod, eyes still fixed in wonder on the dragon he was now supposed to _ride._ “you never told me you had a dragon merlin.” he said with an attempt at a laugh, though the noise died halfway and turned into a painful cough.

if the concerned gaze was anything to go by, that wasn't so good. “yeah, well, i didn't tell you a lot of things.” merlin replied dully, trying to ignore the sharp grunts from arthur as he helped him forward. the dragon knelt down low, extending a wing so they could climb. though neither of them were exactly in climbing condition.

fate must've taken pity on them, perhaps guilty for all the pain it had caused. for somehow the two found themselves flying through the clouds, haphazardly astride a rocking dragon as it flew across the forest with grace. merlin clung to it's back, and arthur clung to merlin, trying to ignore the dull pain in his side and the slowing beat of his heart. his hands were cold, and merlin seemed to notice too. before arthur could hiss a protest, merlin was muttering in that strange magical tongue of his and suddenly a surge of heat fell over him.

 _“hléowe._ ”

(warm)

“merlin-” arthur started to complain, noticing with concern how the boy's shoulders sagged in exhaustion with the effort the spell took. however his trail of thought never made it past his lips, eyes caught at the distraction which was merlin's eyes. they were fixed on the ground ahead, searching feverishly for the lake, but as out of it as arthur was, he was _certain_ the deep blue was glowing a wonderful gold.

“your eyes..” he murmured, so quiet merlin would not have heard him had he not been pressed up so close and hanging onto a dragon for dear life.

“what?” merlin said quickly, tone blunt and surprised at the strange statement. he waited patiently for context, context arthur was oddly embarrassed to give.

“..they're gold.” he said eventually, stare darting away from them as they suddenly flicked to meet his own incredulously. though even as he spoke, the glow faded, making way for the dark blue that sank back in.

“yes, they probably are.” merlin replied, amusement laced through his tired tone. “did you not know they did that?”

“for magic?” arthur questioned sleepily, allowing his head to drop against merlin's shoulder as he trembled too much with the effort of staying upright.

“yes.”

merlin's answer was slow, slower than it should've been for such a simple question. it struck arthur that he was still uncertain, worried of how arthur would react to each and every thing magic. _god, how self-conscious can this idiot get?_ arthur wondered in exasperation. as if determined to put merlin at ease, his damned mouth betrayed him and blurted out the first thought he'd had as he gazed into that burning starlight.

“it's pretty.”

for a moment arthur thought maybe his quiet words had been dragged away by the wind, incomprehensible over the thundering of the wings alongside them. but then he looked up to merlin, and smiled as his eyes lay rest upon a fond smile of merlin's own.

arthur blinked his eyes open wearily, leaning into the strong hands gripping him and panicking as he felt himself falling. “wha-” he spluttered out, trying to see through heavy eyelids as his feet - thank god - rested on steady ground.

he heard merlin's voice, filled with tearful gratitude. “thank you, kilgharrah. thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“it was my pleasure. now go, your destiny awaits you.”

he vaguely noted the surprising chuckle that came from merlin at that, and the almost inaudible, “i'll miss your cryptic riddles.”

the world came rushing back in quite suddenly, the cold bite of the wind and a very unwelcome pain searing through his side. he must've subconsciously voiced this pain, because suddenly merlin was there, filling up the entirety of his limited vision. wide, blue eyes staring intently with overflowing concern at him, a hand fumbling desperately to press against his slowing pulse.

“arthur.”

closing his eyes was feeling pretty good right about now, maybe just for a second. they were so heavy, so sleepy.

“ _arthur.”_

 _“_ what?” he grumbled back, annoyed at merlin for disturbing him so close to sleep.

“stay awake! stop that, you're fine. you're fine, you're fine, come on..”

merlin's tone made his brow furrow in confusion, it didn't sound like he was fine. he strained his consciousness to focus on the shimmering water's edge. he had to get there, he knew that. it was calling to him, pulling him in. it was magic, that much was certain. but magic was bad, wasn't it? then why did it feel so right, so.. merlin.

he forced his feet forward, catching merlin's huff of relief and then feeling extremely grateful for the other's strong frame supporting him as they stumbled towards the water. merlin was talking, perhaps to himself. arthur couldn't quite catch the quick mumbles, though he could tell his servant was upset.

the cold waves lapped over his feet, and he exhaled as a fraction of the pain in his head was released. now he could see clearly, so clearly it was all too much for a moment. merlin was so.. sharp. dark curls ruffled in the wind, brushing across his pale skin, whitened a ghostly colour under the moonlight. eyes flickering with hope, just a shred of it, and face contorted in effort and desperation.

with each step he took into the water, he felt stronger, and gradually he pushed away from merlin's arms and stumbled in waist-deep himself. he could see now why merlin had been so desperate to get him here, which he realised in surprise that he now remembered hearing. it was coming back to him, gradually, the journey here, the dragon. merlin, merlin crying, merlin holding onto him, merlin whispering in that mesmerising tongue, all merlin. he made a mental note to give the man a day off when they got back, he'd really done so much for him.

submerged fully in the water, he closed his eyes and allowed it's magical tendrils to wrap around him. the voices that had drawn him closer hugged him tight now, soothing his wound and encasing him in a thick layer of magic. he couldn't see now, couldn't think. the relaxation took over him, and he allowed himself to sink.

the wind whistled through the trees, pulling an involuntary shudder through the young warlock. he sat at the waters edge, knees tucked up to his chest. he'd stood until he could stand no longer, collapsing into a heap of drained energy and straining his eyes to search the rippling waves fruitlessly for arthur. merlin wasn't sure how long he'd been waiting there, time was seeming more and more meaningless these days. he hadn't given up hope, not yet. he stubbornly refused to move, already he could feel his magic lighting up again and preparing for use. he knew he would wait here as long as he had to, anybody who dared to interrupt that could answer to a lovely blast of his magic.

fortunately, he didn't have to wait long. he scrambled to get to his feet as a hand emerged from the water, although to his confusion, upon squinting closer he noticed a shining blade in it's grip. he didn't dwell on the thought long, a smile breaking across his face as the joyously familiar man emerged from the lake. _arthur arthur arthur arthur._

he realised with a start that the sun was rising, throwing beautiful shades of red and gold across the water and arthur. the once and future king indeed, he certainly looked his title. the sunlight caught his head of blond like a halo, and merlin was stunned into silence as the man approached him. a laugh broke the stupor, really he knew he shouldn't be laughing, but merlin couldn't help the amusement that filled him as he studied arthur's confused face.

“merlin!” he called out, gentle surprise in his tone. relief.

where had this energy been when he needed it, was merlin's only thought as he ran towards arthur and crashed into him hard enough to knock them both sideways in the shallow water. 

“you're okay! your wound?-”

“gone.” arthur replied with a proud grin, for once not protesting against the tight hug merlin pulled him into. he patted merlin on the back awkwardly and tried to ignore the fast beating of his heart as he took in the warmth of his friend enveloping him. “thank you, merlin. really.”

“y-yeah.. of course..” merlin muttered numbly, taken aback by the gratitude and seriousness in arthur's tone.

“so, how many times is it now? what's this, the one-hundredth time you've saved my life?” arthur joked, pulling back to smile in good nature at merlin.

merlin pulled the most serious face he could muster, shaking his head and replying gravely, “oh much more than that, sire.”

they both burst into laughter, and didn't bother stepping out from the knee-deep water until it eventually subsided. and when merlin caught arthur's eye as they looked up, whether they shared a rare gaze of absolute fondness is nobody else's business. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've always hated how merlin only calls for kilgharrah when arthur's already dead- like why the hell didn't he just do that to get them to the lake in the first place!?
> 
> anyways, i decided to fix that myself lmao if you can think of something that provides a reason to why merlin didn't just do this, you can do me a favour and NOT point it out, thanks xoxo  
> this is fanfiction so i can do whatever i want, canon rules be damned :p
> 
> thank you for reading this chapter! i will be working on more <3
> 
> as always, comments and kudos are appreciated! let me know if you enjoyed this!
> 
> \- kaden


	2. some gentle damage control

the newly crowned queen of camelot looked out sadly across the land bestowed upon her, gentle face twisted in grief and fingers gripping the windowsill so tightly they turned white. gwen was honoured that the knights found her worthy of a place on the throne, but she was more concerned about arthur - as she should be, he is her husband - and merlin, her closest friend. the knights of the round table had elected they announce arthur's death, it _had_ been a week since gaius' return. they'd all been hopeful that the two would return, healthy as ever. but no such luck.

gwen felt a little guilty, in all honesty. the knights knew not of her relation to arthur, they spoke to her so kindly, like she'd lost the love of her life. of course, she was upset, her and arthur were close. but it wasn't a husband she was grieving for, it was a good friend. marriage had been inevitable, was the way arthur had put it. he had proposed to her that they marry for the kingdoms benefit, and they'd both agreed that they had long since gotten over the belief that they loved each other. gwen had, once, harboured a small crush on the then prince, but deep down she knew her heart was still attached to the broken princess who'd left them all.

besides, as dense as the two were, gwen was certain arthur and merlin were practically destined to be together. in fact, according to the explanations gaius had gradually been feeding her, they quite literally were. two sides of the same coin.. if that didn't warrant some sort of love affair, she didn't know what did. she was still reeling from the fact merlin, her best friend, had _magic._ yet it explained so much. _this_ was the unexplainable gap in all his excuses, every guilt ridden lie, every sad smile, every suspicious act - it all boiled down to the one clue gwen had so stupidly missed, merlin had magic. 

she supposed now that arthur knew, when he returned - _not if_ she thought stubbornly - he would lift the ban on magic, even if only for merlin's sake. she'd never truly believed all magic was evil, she was the blacksmith's daughter for christ's sake, it was clear to her magic was a weapon. evil only determined by the one who wields it. she certainly hoped the king felt the same way.

“my lady!”

the gasped shout had her whirling around, coming face to face with a red faced gwaine, panting as he tried to regain his breath.

“gwaine! what is it?” she hardly dared to think it- had they returned?

“the- the gates-” he paused to huff in another breath, “here! they're here.”

gwen gasped, immediately darting past him and heading down the corridor, lady-like be damned. though the shouted words that followed her made her heart speed up, for fear or excitement she wasn't sure.

“wait-! m-morgana too!”

“do you think they pronounced you dead yet?” merlin asked as casually as if he was asking whether it would rain today.

arthur barked out a laugh, tugging on his horse's reins as it danced at the sudden noise. his gaze fell down to morgana, laid across the saddle in front of him. she was alive, thank god. arthur was certain merlin never would've forgiven himself if he had killed her. he only hoped they could make her see sense, help her become who she once was. dark magic had corrupted her, the beautiful maiden she was becoming twisted. he frowned and shook away the dull thoughts.

“actually, they probably think we're both dead.” merlin was frowning now, as if it had only just occurred to him how much of a problem this was. arthur could practically see the guilt forming.

“oh, stop that! i'm sure it's fine. it's hardly your fault your death defying quest took a _whole week_ to complete.” arthur snorted, sarcasm clear in his tone. he poked merlin in the back with his foot as he spoke.

merlin looked up to glare at him, seeming to contemplate pushing him off his horse. he apparently thought better of it.

they'd been riding all day, well, arthur had been riding. they had only one horse, that merlin had ridden with arthur on before it had spooked and ran away. at least the damned thing had the decency to hang around in the area, they caught it with little difficulty thanks to the help of merlin's magic. merlin had been infuriatingly stubborn about letting arthur ride with the unconscious morgana, insisting he could walk until arthur gave in.

“oh! i can see the castle!” merlin exclaimed excitedly, pointing ahead of them.

arthur grinned despite himself as he caught a glimpse of the fluttering red flag, this was a sight he hadn't expected to see ever again. he suddenly thought of gwen, and now _he_ felt guilty too. she would've been out of her mind with worry, for the both of them.

as they neared the gates, merlin chuckled under his breath as the surprised shouts of the guards on duty reached their ears. he looked up to arthur with an eyebrow raised in question. it took arthur a moment to realise what that gaze meant, and then he nodded. _magic?_ was the simple translation. though arthur knew it held so much more. what of magic? was he to march into the castle with a sorcerer at his side? lift the ban? stretch the rules for just merlin? the sheer amount of forseen difficulties made arthur's head hurt.

at his king's confirmation, though merlin wasn't sure he knew what he was agreeing to, he muttered a quick incantation. if he felt arthur's curious gaze on his eyes, he didn't mention it.

so they walked through the gates like that, morgana floating eerily at merlin's side where he held a raised hand, eyes glowing gold. and arthur, as alive as ever, leading an extremely tired horse and beaming with confidence. the guards didn't dare question merlin's clear use of magic under that stare.

it wasn't long before people came rushing out, someone must have alerted someone, and the word spread like wildfire. gwen caught arthur's eye first, breathing heavily and clutching her skirt like she'd just ran down a flight of stairs. gaius was furiously wiping away tears, shaking his head as if to say _oh why do i put up with this boy_ as merlin gave him a cheery wave.

“merlin!” came a shout, the all too familiar voice of gwaine. he leant over the edge of the wall he was stood upon, attached to one of the side turrets. it took arthur a moment to realise what he was staring in awe at, and then he remembered that the others didn't _know._

not even the knights of the round table, though arthur would have loved to have told them sooner. they had no clue about merlin's magic. and to see him performing it, walking alongside the king who said it was punishable by death? yeah, pretty worthy of an awe inspired stare.

the torrent of questions could come later, arthur decided. right now, he wanted his sister nursed in a bed, and his warlock given somewhere to sit down and just _breathe._ god knows the last time merlin relaxed. so he announced as much.

“questions later! leon, would you?” he called out, looking at leon who was watching in shock. he gestured vaguely towards merlin, but his knight seemed to get the idea.

arthur noted absently that there was no hesitation in the way leon rushed forward to greet merlin, glowing eyes and all. he was soon joined by gwaine, who seemed to have found a way to jump down into a haystack and envelope merlin in a positively painful hug. it warmed his heart to see how they took his word so quickly, how they looked past the magic and saw only their friend who was _alive._

he allowed them to have their little reunion before ordering gwaine, if only to get him away from suffocating merlin.

“gwaine, could you give gaius a hand please? i'd like her well rested, and check her head.” he demanded, though he cracked a smile at gwaine's mock offended face.

“yes, _sire._ ” he replied with a grin, of course saying the title with very little respect.

gaius took the initiative at that and gave merlin a hug, telling him something in that motherly way of his and then excusing himself to help gwaine carry morgana inside.

arthur couldn't help the disappointment that crossed his features as the gold faded from merlin's eyes when he let her down, merlin seemed to think of this too and threw arthur a knowing look.

leon watched this exchange curiously before shooing the other knights off merlin, percival, elyan and lancelot having apparently decided to partake in a group hug aimed at squishing him. arthur laughed, nodding and giving his surprised thanks to a tentative guard who offered to take his horse for him. it was all going better than planned, really. nobody had screamed in fear or tried to run merlin the sorcerer through with a sword.

it took another two hours for arthur to gather everyone in the court room and commence the long awaited meeting. gaius had insisted he check over both him and merlin, despite arthur's protests that he'd literally been given a full healing by a magic lake. and then gwaine — oh gwaine — between him and gwen, merlin had hardly had a moment to breathe since he'd arrived. and _lancelot,_ that cheeky little- arthur had a right bone to pick with the man. turns out he'd known of merlin's magic for years! arthur was beginning to think he was the only one who suspected nothing, but gwaine was quick to reassure him he'd been just as oblivious. which wasn't entirely reassuring.

“right.” he called out, loud enough for the room to hear, slamming his hands a little too roughly onto the desk. he ignored gwaine and lancelot's glare and gave merlin, who'd just jumped out of his skin, and apologetic glance.

“i suppose you all have questions. most of them will probably save me a lengthy explanation! so go ahead, please.” arthur said dully, folding his arms and coolly meeting the gaze of the older royal council members who seemed positively outraged.

merlin stood by his side, arthur had refused he go anywhere but. in fact, if he'd had his way, he wouldn't have left merlin for a second since arriving here. he knew the knights would never harm him, but could he be so certain for anyone else in the castle? merlin had protested, and told him again and again that he could take care of himself, but arthur was having none of it. whenever they were separated, even just for a couple minutes, and overwhelming antsy-ness came over him and he demanded a guard sought out merlin for him.

the older council members didn't approve of this arrangement, by the looks of it. they seemed torn between shooting merlin murderous or wary looks. arthur sweetly ignored them, and subtly inched closer to the boy at his side. who was currently fidgeting so much arthur felt like kicking him.

“sire, if you will- a moment of your time.” an old, gravelly voice spoke up. clearly braver than the others. arthur nodded stiffly in confirmation. the man stared daggers at merlin as he spoke, though he addressed arthur. “what are we to make of this- this, _sorcerer_ , standing in our midst? was it not your father who preached against such evildoers?”

arthur simply sighed in annoyance, he'd known this would be the main question. though he could see merlin stiffen beside him. he looked sideways to the young warlock, waiting until merlin brought his gaze up from the floor to meet his. he stared hard, and tried his best to convey, _trust me._ merlin seemed to get the message.

“well first of all, i'd like to announce that i am lifting the ban on magic. and that i am not my father, and never will be. i hope, to be better than uther. and rule _fairly._ not in a blind rage controlled by fear of the unknown and powerful.” he spoke firmly, leaving no room for the questions brimming amongst the shocked audience. his knights smiled at him, encouragement or pride, he wasn't sure.

gesturing to merlin, who suddenly looked very put on the spot and incredulous, he added, “this is merlin, for those of you who don't know him. he's a great man, and yes, he is a sorcerer. though i believe he prefers warlock, if you don't mind. he saved my life, not just today, but many, many times before that. he has, and always will, protect camelot. i trust him, and i ask that you do to.”

“but he uses magic! he could kill us all!” another man hissed, jabbing a trembling finger at merlin.

arthur started to say, “in theory, yes, but he won't-” but merlin held a hand up, and gave arthur a questioning look. usually arthur would've scolded him for interrupting his king, but the statement seemed a little silly now, his clumsy manservant could end his life with a glance. he ducked his head slightly and took a step back.

merlin straightened his shoulders and addressed the court, mainly the man who had spoken. “magic is a tool. it is no more evil than a sword, for example. in the wrong hands, it could be thrust through your chest, in that instance- would you say that all swords are evil? that the sword is to blame? no, because that would be stupid. essentially, this is what uther did with magic. he was wronged by it once, and declared any and all forms of it evil. magic can be good, great even, it can be used to heal, to grow, to help- in the right hands. so if you could please, set aside your prejudiced opinions, and think sensibly about what you're saying?”

there was a great silence as he finished, even arthur gaped at him in awe. it was clearly a heated subject for merlin, and only now could arthur see the great deal of pent up anger towards all the ways magic had been wronged, and all the ways merlin had been wronged because of it. he thought surely, surely, that speech would settle them. but apparently royal idiots aren't easily swayed.

“but you are a sorcerer! how are we to believe your word? you could be tricking us with magic, twisting your words! you have magic for christ's sake!”

a couple of men nodded in agreement at this, though most were now shifting uncomfortably. they're afraid, arthur realised dully, they're afraid of his half-witted manservant because he has magic.

“ahmm, you're wrong actually.” merlin said with a forced smile, tucking his hands behind his back and taking a few paces to the side. he laughed under his breath a little and gave a glance to arthur before continuing, “i don't _have_ magic. i am magic. i am made from it, i was born with it- and i have never practiced it.”

a couple whispers and gasps spread throughout the room at this, arthur kept his eyes glued on merlin, thoughtfully almost. it made sense to him, that merlin was magic. he always had been, hadn't he. and of what gaius had told him if the prophecies about them, it all made sense. he truly believed merlin was the most powerful sorcerer alive.

upon no further interruptions, merlin continued bitterly, “and i'll have you know i could destroy everyone in this room with the flick of my wrist if i so wanted to, but i won't. because i don't want to be like that, like uther. i will wait, patiently, for you to see sense, and if you don't? fine, but don't try to cross me, or arthur, or the whole of camelot actually. if you disagree here today with what arthur is putting across, then you answer to me. and you do not want to put yourself in that position.”

arthur stepped up to his side, putting a hand on his shoulder and silently telling him that he'd done well, but also to calm down. the last thing he needed was merlin overexerting himself fighting a bunch of royal prats when he was supposed to be recovering. merlin leaned ever so slightly into his touch, and he couldn't help the warmth that bloomed in his chest.

“camelot is under my protection. and i serve arthur, the once and future king.”

after a tense beat of silence, applause broke out, though a couple council members appeared miffed and stood sullenly still. the moment seemed worthy of applause, though in all honesty arthur himself was still reeling at merlin's declarations. he smiled at merlin, and he smiled back. maybe this was one big tangled mess, but they could work their way through every knotted thread piece by piece. it was a start, at the very least.

“i think that went well!” merlin announced cheerily, drifting across the room and absently tidying at the desk that had been left in a mess.

it seemed so surreal to arthur, to be back in his chambers, alive, and standing next to the most powerful sorcerer to have ever lived. who was currently tidying his room like a servant. it was just so very merlin.

“yes... apart from the whole terrifying all of the royal court part, i suppose it did go well.” he replied jokingly, giving merlin a look as he dropped down into his chair.

merlin shrugged, though arthur caught the humoured grin across his face as he turned away. “a nice healthy dose of fear will do them good, i think.” 

they fell into comfortable silence, merlin content with flitting around the room fixing up various odds and ends and arthur content watching him. he supposed, subconsciously, he was trying to match the picture he had in his head of his clumsy servant and friend, and the powerful emrys. the two just didn't compute, he couldn't believe _merlin_ was actually, well, magic.

and as he watched him, fumbling with dirty laundry that had been flung across the furniture, a thought crossed his mind and his brow furrowed in confusion.

“merlin?”

“yes, sire?”

merlin looked up at him attentively, awaiting the response with obvious confusion as arthur gave a vague hand wave. eventually forcing out slowly,

“why.. why don't you use magic? for that.”

the question had apparently not been what merlin was expecting, he visibly recoiled under arthur's gaze and stared intently at the cloth he fiddled with in his hands.

“habit, i suppose. it's nice to do something familiar.” he replied quietly, though arthur picked up on the nervousness in his tone.

“ah, i see.” he muttered back, though he really didn't. “alright, well go on then. i give you my permission, i want you to know that you can use it freely now. you'd like that, right?”

merlin's head snapped up, eyes wide with pure confusion and shock. “y-yeah, i guess. you're asking me.. to use magic, to fold your laundry..?”

“yes. problem?” he cocked an eyebrow and bit back a smile as merlin backtracked quickly.

“no, no of course not, sire. will do.”

arthur watched patiently, which quickly faded to impatience as merlin remained glued to the spot with his eyes on the ground. “what are you waiting for?”

the red that coloured the young warlock's cheekbones was quite lovely, and his gaze darted between arthur and the floor. “what are _you_ waiting for?” he shot back defensively, forcing his gaze up and fixing it on arthur skeptically. “i can't do it when you're staring at me, it feels weird. im just... used to hiding it from you.”

arthur scoffed and waved his hand again, relentless. “i don't care, i gave you an order _mer_ lin. what happened to all that garb about serving your once and future king?”

when his teasing was met with silence, he sighed and added in a gentler tone, “i'm saying it's alright. you're allowed to use it now, in front of whoever you want, all the time. but if you really need my permission, here it is. i'll make it a direct demand from your king if i have to, use your magic merlin.”

to his relief, the corner of merlin's mouth twitched up into a smile. and although his shoulders remained tense, he looked up and murmured a quick incantation that made his eyes flare that beautiful gold.

_“ānlǽċab, ábierrab.”_

_(_ collect, clean) 

the clothes scattered around the room floated up to fold themselves above him, but arthur wasn't interested in that. his impatient gaze stayed fixed on merlin's eyes, waiting. so it hadn't been a hallucination caused by blood loss then, they really _did_ glow.

it took him a moment to realise merlin was watching him warily for his reaction. _scared_ for gods sake. the most powerful warlock was scared of him, arthur. of his opinion, no less. arthur snorted in amusement despite himself.

“what?” merlin asked defensively, eyes narrowing at him. golden eyes. beautiful eyes.

shaking his head, arthur replied with a smile. “nothing, it's just funny that's all. how nervous you are, even after i've told you again and again that you don't have to be. i think it's beautiful.”

he spoke with honesty, gaze full of nothing but affection within the confines of his chambers. nothing else mattered but him and his warlock, his stupid self-conscious warlock who had all the power in the world and still tripped over thin air.

“arthur.. i..” merlin mumbled, letting the clothes fall to rest on the bed as he diverted his attention to his king. he seemed at a loss on whether to say "i'm sorry" or "thank you", so he settled on giving a little nod and hurriedly swiping at the tears brimming in his eyes.

before arthur could stand and speak — though he wasn't really sure what he intended to say — to door creaked open and both boys jolted and turned towards it. it was gwen's face that peered around it, sidling into the room and clutching her hands together.

“ah, hello merlin. sorry, i hope i'm not interrupting anything.” she greeted awkwardly, giving arthur a smile and running an appraising gaze over them both as if she still couldn't believe they were alive.

“not at all..” arthur mumbled dismissively, though he couldn't help the twinge of annoyance he felt at having merlin's attention diverted from him.

merlin sniffed and swiftly composed himself, giving gwen a genuine smile and stepping towards her tentatively. she shook her head incredulously and surged forward to hug him, he stumbled back in surprise.

“oh, merlin! i thought you were dead you know. you and arthur.” she mumbled sadly into his shoulder.

“i'm sorry, gwen. you must've been so worried.” merlin said guiltily, not noticing the look arthur gave him.

“yes, well, you're back now.” she replied with a sniff, dabbing at her eyes and pulling back. seeming to remember why she'd come in, she took up a new stance and straightened her shoulders, glaring accusingly at merlin who recoiled under her stare. “and you have a lot of explaining to do. why did you never tell me? about..” she waved her hand to the side exasperatingly, “well, everything! your magic!”

merlin gave an uncertain shrug, smiling and giving an amused huff. “oh gwen, you know i couldn't. i almost did, lots of times. i think you were always very close to figuring it out yourself, honestly. i'm a terrible liar.”

“that you are.” arthur commented dryly, a smile cracking onto his face as merlin gave him a look.

merlin elected to ignore him and turned a cautious gaze to gwen. “er, how's morgana?”

gwen pursed her lips, eyes darting to the side. “she's... well she's alive. not awake yet, i'm afraid.”

she perked up again and met merlin's eyes with curiosity. “what _happened_ to her?”

arthur let out a chuckle as merlin fidgeted uncomfortably on the spot, and gwen directed her confused gaze towards him.

“merlin happened to her.” he said simply, smiling with just barely visible proudness.

“ _merlin?_ how- why?-” she stuttered incredulously, looking at merlin as if really seeing him for the sorcerer he was for the first time.

as amusing as this was to arthur, merlin didn't seem to agree. again he was overwhelmed with that genuine fear, fear of disapproval. he hurried to explain the best he could before gwen could speak further.

“i- well i had to gwen, she was going to kill me and then arthur would've died. i didn't really.. _mean_ to nearly kill her, it was an accident. i'm sorry.” he held his breath, clearly anticipating losing his best friend's trust right then and there.

arthur would've gotten up and moved to his side to reassure him, but his theory was proved correct, and gwen made sure that wasn't necessary.

“oh merlin! don't be so silly, of course, of course, i know that. and honestly? i'm rather impressed you can do that much just by accident.” she said with a light laugh, placing a gentle hand on merlin's shoulder and showing him the sincerity in her eyes.

merlin visibly sagged with relief, tears once again collecting in his eyelashes as he received approval he'd never hoped to get. “thank you, gwen.” he mumbled, wiping at his eyes.

arthur stood up from his desk and joined merlin, subconsciously drifting to his side was becoming a bit of a habit now. he offered gwen a smile, a smile that spoke thousands of words. it was a thank you, for accepting and being there for merlin. it was an i missed you, and a thank you for trusting me. gwen nodded slightly, dabbing at her own eyes before taking a step back and smoothing out her skirt.

“right, well. i can't tell you how glad i am to have you both back, but i really should be going. the preparations-” she cut herself off, looking guiltily to arthur and then to merlin.

arthur sighed, giving a shrug and turning around to busy himself pretending to pile up paperwork.

“what preparations? arthur?” merlin's suspicious voice rang out and was met by silence. until arthur grumbled,

“well it was supposed to be a surprise. never the matter. merlin, i'm going to be officially appointing you court sorcerer of camelot.”

“that- that's not.. that's not a real thing, arthur.” he protested, looking and sounding stunned.

“i think it's lovely.” gwen put in, smiling at them.

“it wasn't a real thing, but it is now. i created it.” arthur replied coyly, keeping his back turned to them so they wouldn't see the smile gracing his face. it just made him so happy, to finally be able to give merlin something in return. even if it wasn't much compared to all that he'd done over the years.

“wow- i... thank you,” merlin managed eventually, looking a little embarrassed at the high title he'd been bestowed. he nodded to the young king and queen, his friends. “both of you.”

“ohh, you deserve it merlin. really, you do.” gwen cooed, wrapping him once again in a tight hug. as she stepped back she fixed at her hair, curls astray from all the running about she'd been doing.

“right, i'll get back to everyone else then. you're welcome to come down and assist if you feel up to it, i know you're supposed to be resting.” she said kindly, running a worried eye over merlin's tired figure.

merlin seemed to catch this and scoffed, shaking his head quickly. “i'm fine really, gaius worries too much. magic, remember? i just need to 'recharge'. i can come help you if you want.”

gwen seemed unconvinced, and arthur was quite suddenly hit with a panic that merlin would be taken away from him and into a crowd of potentially dangerous people with very little magic strength.

“i'm sure she'll manage. besides, i need you here with me merlin.” the words sounded foreign on his own tongue, so he added hurriedly, “paperwork, i'm rubbish at it. and i want your opinion on all the magical law things.”

the young queen smiled, almost knowingly, and politely ignored the confused look merlin gave her despite the fact there were practically flaring red question marks above his head. “yes, that's alright! i'll leave you two to it.”

she ducked back out the door and as soon as the latch clicked shut, merlin let out a shaky exhale.

“what?” arthur probed, striding back to his desk and glancing to merlin.

“uhm, nothing. just, glad i guess. nobody's tried to attack me yet, though guinevere looked pretty close for a moment.” he explained, smiling to himself a little as he looked at his shoes.

“you're ridiculous, she was only upset you didn't confide in her. she's your friend, that won't change.” arthur was surprised by his own tone, so sincere and serious. he really had to stop blurting out things so honestly around merlin. for a moment, he wondered if it was a subconscious magic thing merlin was doing.

“yeah, ʼspose you're right.”

they settled back into routine, almost exactly as it had been before everything. arthur still complained about the heaps of paperwork, merlin still laughed and helped him over his shoulder. the subtle touches, shoulder, hand, the odd gentle shove or brush of an arm. the playful bickering and sarcastic comments. it was all the same between them, so much so that arthur almost forgot about merlin's magic. but he couldn't forget the picture painted in his mind, of those mesmerising irises shimmering like candlelight.

he did stop to think for a moment, when merlin dozed off in a chair at the table, that maybe it was an odd thing to notice about his best friend. not only _notice,_ but to immediately become obsessed with. merlin's eyes were always something, but that magical glow really did something to arthur's heart. his eyes trailed subconsciously over the warlock's sleeping figure, appraising the dark curls that hung over his face. jokes with the knights aside, arthur thought merlin was rather like a girl. a pretty girl too, if he was honest with himself.

there was a great many things to get done, a celebration first and foremost, for the return of the king. and then possibly another, for the appointment of the first court sorcerer to ever exist. and then the laws on magic, they'd written out pages and pages worth over the past few hours. it would take at least a year to put it all in place, so much to get done. but arthur rested easy, knowing he'd have merlin, trustworthy and playful as usual, at his side to help him.

all the decisions to come could wait. right now, all that mattered was the soft glow of candlelight spreading shadows over merlin's soft, sleeping figure. the room quiet apart from their own breathing, warm and safe and feeling like home. the occasional crack and spit of the flames gently licking at the fireplace, his warlock, his best friend, asleep at the desk beside him. it wasn't long before arthur dozed off too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot of dialogue in this one so sorry about that- and i suck at endings so please don't come for me i know it's bad LMAO
> 
> thank you for reading! 5,205 words on this one whoo.
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated! <3
> 
> \- kaden


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